Why did the tomato blush? 
Because it saw the salad dressing.

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? 
They both got 6 months.

Why didn’t the teddy bear eat dessert?
Because he was stuffed.

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

What does a vampire take for a sore throat?
Coffin drops.

What do call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!